I had to make money in England, which was deep in recession in 1992 when I moved there. I had prevously spent a pile of money and time in 1987 in England to market test beef jerky in pubs, which I knew would sell. I learned a lot about what would, and wouldn't fly in England, snack food-wise. I put the plan into action and raised $2 million to start the business. Pecos Pete's Steak Flakes were about to take the country by storm! (and make me rich). Though Pecos Pete and Black Bart were instant hits all over the country, raising awareness of this new product everyone loved, I was lassoed to incompetent management with more money than sense. They unbelievably threw me out of my own company (what the hell was I doing, anyway, galavanting all over the country and performing gunfights for radio, TV and the newspapers, splashing our name everywhere, when they were working their butts off in the factory?), listening to some third rate marketing "old boy" twit in a suit who said cowboys were the WRONG image for beef jerky! They were all "suits" and incredibly stupid not realizing what a gem they had in the palm of their hands. They changed the whole thrust of the product to some naff New York Deli amateur package and deservedly went bankrupt 4 months later. Such a shame, such a good idea squandered by incompetence. Or incompetents.
These idiots even gave me back ownership of all the trademark and copyrights...the only value in the company since all the plant equipment was leased. Amazing.
But...Pecos Pete's Steak Flakes ain't dead yet, pardner! No sirree! I've written a cracking and amusing screenplay titled "The Adventures of Pecos Pete & Black Bart," and when the film gets made, Steak Flakes will rise again! Halleluja!! I came within a whisker getting it made at Sony (Columbia), but they decided a western was too risky.
I had been putting the finishing touches on a humorous memoir called "The Loop," and after the Steak Flakes debacle, Black Bart (Michael Wood) and I secured a twice-weekly spot on LIVETV in London and travelled around the country performing our hilarious and very famous gunfight scenario. The Daily Mail hired us to play center stage at the upcoming Ski Show in Olympia in the fall of 1995. Cowboys at a ski show! That's how popular we were. I met a Flemish girl there who was handling hotel reservations in Granada, where she lived, for the upcoming Downhill Championships in Sierra Nevada. She was the inspiration for The Book of Love.
I began "The Book of Love," a children's series of books called "Pussyraptor," another called "Dormouse" (you will have a Dormouse toy in your house in the future, I don't care how old you are), plus several books: "The Whole Enchilada," "Airbrush," and "The Book of Haight," and planning to move back to LA, where I needed to be to get all my projects off the ground.
I moved to LA, bought a used Explorer Sport 4X4 (great vehicle), and popped up to SF to see Jack. I was waiting for him outside his luxurious apartment building at the top of Nob Hill, wondering what fantastic vehicle he was going to pull up in to knock me out of my socks (he owns a mint condition, baby-blue 1961 Corevette that only makes occasional appearances), when this geek in a half-assed white motorcycle helmet pulled up on an oversized scooter. The goggles and helmet came off and....it was JACK!!! Yikes! What had happened to him!!!??? I registered my utter surprise at this disturbing, uncool, and negative-street credibility vision he was presenting me with, but Jack fobbed it off and said he didn't give a damn what people thought (read "me"), and no one was going to steal this hunk of junk, and he could park it anywhere with impunity and not worry about it. That shut me up....especially seeing as how San Francisco had changed so much in terms of parking (or lack of it). He was just the teeniest bit defensive about it, though, I thought.
THE GEEKSTER
April 24, 2001--San Francisco: 'Just got a phone call from Jack....the bike's totalled and he's in hospital with a broken leg, 6 broken ribs, and a broken collarbone, having been flown there from the boondocks in a helicopter yesterday. I asked him how it happened and he told me he went into a left-hander a little too hot and a little too high. I laughed and reminded him of that exact SAME stunt as I was following him from Laurel Dell on Mount Tamalpais in Marin on the old road down to Stinson Beach when Jack hit a left-hander too hot and went down and I went right into him....though we didn't break anything THAT time (other than our bikes), and sat for an hour and looked at the incredible view of the Pacific Ocean and laughed at how stupid we were.
Jack replied over the phone, "Yeah, well Paul, I've still got those same skills!" Silly boy. I told him he could have the wreckage of the bike as a neat piece of action sculpture in his front room....he wasn't too pleased with my idea.......he just needs time, he'll come 'round!
2012: I moved BACK to England from LA in 2005 (my third time...40' container and all) after 5 years in LA (don't ask), and live deep in stunningly beautiful Surrey in the rockbroker belt, forging ahead with these projects, playing drums with friends, and have written two more books and a screenplay (and painting), learning to play golf (bloody Scots), and have made lots of great friends, but it takes money to live whilst one writes and paints, which is why I'm offering my poster collection up for sale. Since I love romantic comedies (Love Actually, French Kiss, Four Weddings, Sleepless, Notting Hill, Pretty Woman, etc) I'm putting some bits together to see if I can write one...so all that keeps me busy...plus writing a very funny book with pro golfer Phil Harrison, with intro by Alan Shearer, one of Phil's mates and a lovely guy.
